There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My bed smells like the plague
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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