DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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