You just made me feel so damn special
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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