you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize