Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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