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doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i think i have herpe
just one?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
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