Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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