no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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