Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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