I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize