Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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