forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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