take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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