U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
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Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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