I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize