i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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