genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize