I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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