I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize