I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize