The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
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He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
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you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
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