i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize