drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
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and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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