sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
well you can't waste a boner
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
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She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
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