You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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