We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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