How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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