i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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