physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize