I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize