its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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