I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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