I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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