direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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