So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize