eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't deserve a penis
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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