i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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