She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
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I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
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By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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