my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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