I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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