We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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