Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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