is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize