She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
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He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
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Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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