Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
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So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
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I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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