idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
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She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
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I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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