Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.

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(918): Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted. (918): And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail. http://tfl.nu/06cg

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(515): View more from Iowa

took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru

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(515): took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru http://tfl.nu/806s

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(323): View more from California

Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.

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(323): Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat. http://tfl.nu/q9lv

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(903): View more from Texas

I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.

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(903): I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink. http://tfl.nu/zmqp

Replies (13) Good night (4581) Bad night (711)
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(425): View more from Washington

I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.

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(425): I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame. http://tfl.nu/kw0h

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(517): View more from Michigan

Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.

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(517): Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever. http://tfl.nu/fx8m

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(410): View more from Maryland

Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....

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(410): Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink..... http://tfl.nu/vd91

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.

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(617): No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack. http://tfl.nu/ritq

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(801): View more from Utah

"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.

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(801): "Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much. http://tfl.nu/4lhq

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(210): View more from Texas

I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.

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(210): I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful. http://tfl.nu/5n8j

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.

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(+44): I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches. http://tfl.nu/i131

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment

(410): View more from Maryland

Thank god I got my shit together

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(203): Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment (410): Thank god I got my shit together http://tfl.nu/mezm

Replies (2) Good night (828) Bad night (415)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.

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(+44): don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused. http://tfl.nu/f355

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(775): View more from Nevada

You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass

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(775): You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass http://tfl.nu/qd0r

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(520): View more from Arizona

At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.

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(520): At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget. http://tfl.nu/wj00

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