They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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