i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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