well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize