College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize